Dating is becoming more difficult as the norms and expectations of each gender break down. This essay describes four basic rules that men can do to meet the expectations of women, and thus find success in dating. The first rule is “Don’t be weird”. The second rule is “Don’t look weird”. The third is “Possess cultural currency”. And finally, “Don’t rely on these to get her attention”. Basic sexual strategy from a evolutionary and historical perspective are given. Because men’s value to women is not innate, a breakdown of cultural norms will leave many men at a disadvantage, with no clear reason why. This essay aims to overcome this gap by exploring the basic reproductive dynamic as it exists between the sexes.
The life of the involuntary single person is tough. You want to find that special someone, but just can’t seem to do it. As it turns out, this is a problem for one gender much more than for another. In the broadest of terms, women have it easier. They can get a man far easier than the reverse for the simple fact that men are more permissive in terms of their partners, where women are more discriminating. And they must be, for their bodies and identities are the gatekeepers of reproduction, and so is of paramount importance that they know and exact the necessary qualities of masculinity in the partners they accept. Even on a subjective level, there are dozens of issues to contend with, including safety, appropriateness and the potential consequences including pregnancy and the higher rates of STD’s. Sex is more involving for women physically, so it’s taken more seriously. For men, sex is easy and more casual, so it’s easy to be less concerned. This is because it’s easier to penetrate than the reverse. For this reason, women have it easier in that they have a choice of men, the majority of whom will acquiesce. Men however, don’t tend to have that option.
At the heart of the problem is that women are only attracted to ‘true-masculinity’. This is a nexus of behavior and physical characteristics that only men can possess, but are, with a few exceptions, acquired during life. Not all male activities are masculine in this sense. These are traits that embody male power, authority, and strength, which women highly value. But not all male preferences lead to these ‘alpha-characteristics’, and so some never develop them. Moreover, a wide variety of masculine-participating men is necessary for a diverse species, and thus a plurality of men is good for the group, even if it’s not good for them individually. With that in mind however, not all men are equally good for the group, or even for the woman. Men are more diverse in terms of their success and failure as compared to women, and thus women must be careful in making their choice – both for themselves, and for the tribe. For this reason, all sustainable cultures have methods for culling their men, sculpting them towards this ideal. Those who don’t set minimum standards will ruin their society and lead their men into dating failure. For this reason, men’s initiation rites are more rigorous and exacting than those for women, which are often quite simple and related to motherhood itself. It isn’t typical for women to need to prove themselves in some daring act of courage, bravery, or skill – as is the case with men.
In modern industrial society, these norms are still active, but have become more diffuse. Nevertheless, the discerning temperament of women is still active, and many men who find themselves failing here, are merely ignorant of the rules of the game. Thus the point of this essay is to reduce the situation to four basic rules of male-quality, and explain their validity and necessity. As the majority of true-masculine traits are acquired during life, most can be acquired merely by lifestyle changes. As we will discover, these basic rules are true for all societies and cultures, and it is merely the cultural methods of each that matter – the general rules hold in all of them.
Given the relationship of the genders in the sexual game, these rules are only necessary for men, and primarily apply to them. As I’ll term it here, men are the ‘unleveled’ sex. This means that their nature is not automatically conformed to the group, thus they are more capable of diversity in terms of being. They have a more diverse success, and more diverse failure. Women are the leveled sex, by which we mean that they are more similar than different as a gender. The image here is that of a patch of grass, such that a leveled patch has all stalks the same height, where an un-cut field will have a greater diversity in height. Some being tall, and others being short.
In basic terms, a two-gendered sexual reproduction is composed of a leveled, and unleveled sex, and this is seem in virtually all higher life, especially mammals. The leveled sex is the judge, and the unleveled sex competes. In humans, and most mammals, the unleveled sex is male. We can determine this by seeing what traits are preferred and chosen by women. The fact that there is sexual dimorphism from which to judge is an indication of their unleveled nature. Discriminating traits can be found in deer-antlers and peacock-feathers. Females use traits like these (and the success they bring) to decide who is worthy of mating. As compared to males, females do not have these traits, thus in evolutionary logic, we can see the diversity of males is greater simply because they have been winnowed by means of their sexual traits (e.g. antlers or tail-feathers).
Thus men, as an unleveled sex, must prove themselves and must bring something extra to the table. The four rules are basically designed to easily and effectively prove ‘true-masculinity’ (this ‘extra-ness’) accounting for cultural variation. Having said that, this essay will be slightly tilted to the modern day industrial society, and specifically towards an increasingly de-masculinized male population. As the ‘shame’ of patriarchy and its excesses have been roundly criticized from all sides, males have become unable to imagine masculinity, and a tremendous number of them are failing sexually for reasons that they can’t even fathom. Moreover, the intense training period that young boys once got is now completely obsolete, as the educational system is designed and ran by women (or those with the feminine imperative). And as has been shown in educational and psychology research, women have a difficult time in teaching boys, often thinking them less intelligent merely because they are more difficult to control. Without unleveled guides, boys tend to adopt the leveled traits of girls, and so are less likely to be attractive to women later in life.
In an attempt to combat this, many men have developed unique strategies in an attempt to make an end-run around human sexuality, cultural dysfunction, and evolutionary logic itself. Such strategies do not work in the long-term. And to the extent they do work, it is only because they match evolutionary logic. Examples of this can be found in the recent ‘pickup artist’ community, the red-pill forums, or even ‘nice-guy’ tendencies everywhere else. In various ways, they attempt to exploit the subjective circumstance of women, usually by exploiting their vanities, vulnerabilities, or narcissism. Such strategies sometimes seem successful, but ultimately aren’t. They usually engender enmity, as they are merely a simulation of one part of ‘true-masculinity’ and then subsequently fail to deliver, leading to a sense of betrayal.
